one bird flu over the cuckoo’s nest

have any of you been keeping up with the bird flu? how it’s spreading like wild fire all across asia, europe and africa? and how they’ve detected it in cats now? well, about a month ago, egypt got hit with the bird flu. there’s so much information and misinformation about it, people are confused as to how to react. is it safe to eat chicken and eggs? well, apparently both are safe to eat as long as they’re cooked appropriately but we (i.e. me, bikey and naveed) decided to fast from them for the time being. but naveed took it to a whole other level....

typically, our fridge is stocked with an ample supply of eggs to keep us going for the whole week if not more. we had about a dozen eggs when bird flu hit. we even had some chicken in the freezer. bikey decided she’d eat the eggs instead of wasting them since they were safe to eat when cooked. but oh no! naveed wouldn’t have any of that. she refused to allow bikey her God-given right to eat eggs. she demanded the disposal of anything having to do with poultry...with gloves on. not just the eggs and chicken but rubber duckies, feather dusters, my stock of ‘chicken of the sea’ canned tuna and even bikey’s cute pair of socks with pictures of chicks on it!.....ummm.....okay, i may be slightly exaggerating but she also did throw out rania’s eggs.

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the egyptian government ordered the slaughtering of all domestic birds and warned against disposing them in the streets, canals or the nile river for fear of contamination. however...

just a couple of days after bird flu hit, i’m sitting in class taking an exam. my teacher along with a bunch of other teachers are in the hallway causing a raucous. they’re laughing, having a jolly good time. i see one of the workers bring in big bottles of mineral water. now, they’re toasting each other with their water bottles. what in the world is going on, i ponder? egyptians don’t normally drink mineral water ‘cause their bodies can handle the tap. perhaps someone got engaged...perhaps someone is expecting a baby...perhaps it’s someone’s birthday....

i find out a bit later that someone threw a dead bird in the nile river and that’s what all the teachers were laughing about! now...i’ve been told i’m a bit strange but i just don’t seem to get egyptian humor. how is that funny?! the news is now warning people against using the tap for at least 6 hours! that is, until they put more chlorine into the water to clean it up. we’re being told not to use the tap to wash our food (i.e. fruits and veggies), make tea or cook anything with it. nor should we rinse our mouths, make wudu and we must be extra cautious that the water does not enter any wounds on our bodies. ‘oh my!’, i say to myself. ‘this ‘aint no laughin’ matter! how am i going to survive? how am i supposed to eat without washing my fruits and veggies, without boiling my pasta and cooking my rice? how am i supposed to pray without making wudu?...(yes, i know, i could always perform tayyamum, but...). what if i have a slight wound on my body that i’m unaware of? how am i supposed to take a shower?’
well, i make it through that day using bottled water for wudu and cooking. but this could get quite expensive if i begin bathing with bottled water. well, i say to myself, let me sleep on it. maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

tomorrow comes....find out the whole thing was a hoax!!